Ranked: 7 Wednesday Pop-Culture Moments, From 'Cute Little Update' To 'Someone Call The TARDIS'

Stop scrolling, because Wednesday's entertainment news dropped a TARDIS-sized pile of goodies — and we've ranked the best of it so you don't have to.

Counting down from "cute little update" to "wait, WHO might be running Doctor Who?"

7. Harry Potter Is Taking Over Oxford Street

London, get your wands ready. HBO Max and the New West End Company have announced, per The Hollywood Reporter, a Harry Potter-themed Christmas lights takeover for Oxford Street, timed to the holiday launch of HBO's new series.

A Harry Potter Shop, billed as the UK's largest official flagship, opens on November 4. Details on the light switch-on are still to come.

Verdict: Charming, festive, and an extremely effective way to empty your wallet. We're in.

6. Chuck Lorre Describes Working On 'Roseanne' In One Word: "Malice"

The Big Bang Theory creator got VERY candid on the "Dinner's on Me" podcast. According to Variety, Lorre said the writers' room meant 60-70 hour weeks and called it "absolute" malice, saying Roseanne Barr "fundamentally hated" that other people wrote her words.

Verdict: Not a cozy sitcom-set memory. We'll be thinking about this one for a while.

5. Christy Carlson Romano Is Giving Lindsay Lohan "Points For Being Savage"

The Even Stevens alum told Page Six that Lohan once said "I guess they're letting anyone in here" at the Chateau Marmont. Her reaction? Zero hard feelings, and a laugh about it.

She also noted they're all moms now and said the competitive child-star era is firmly in the past. Her memoir Once Upon a Trainwreck is out now.

Verdict: Shady story, graceful ending. Growth looks good on everyone.

4. The Ted Lasso Finale Gave Roy Kent A Chelsea Job Offer

SPOILERS ahead! Per Deadline's recap, the Season 4 finale opens with a funeral reception for pub owner Mae and ends with big news: Roy gets offered the head coaching job at Chelsea. Keeley is also pregnant, and Zelda Southport's secret share-buying scheme comes to light.

Verdict: "Big changes happen in bunches," indeed. Pass the tissues.

3. The VRT Awards Gave Us "Slam Pig" As Quote Of The Year

Page Six's second annual Virtual Reali-Tea Awards crowned its winners, and the Quote of the Year went to Rosie Woods DiMare's "slam pig" line. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island took Best Cast, and Summer House dominated the fan-voted categories.

Verdict: A reality TV trophy for a quote. This is why we love this genre.

2. Ciara Miller Won Best Reunion Performance While Dancing

Fun twist: Ciara Miller couldn't attend the VRT Awards because of her Dancing With the Stars run, but still took home Best Reunion Performance. Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga and Dolores Catania won Best Return to Screen, and Luann de Lesseps won Musician of the Year.

Verdict: Winning an award while being busy somewhere else is the ultimate power move.

1. Doctor Who Is Up For Grabs, And The Bids Are WILD

The big one. Deadline reports that the BBC has launched a competitive tender to produce the show, and Line of Duty's Jed Mercurio is leading a bid via Hat Trick Mercurio. World Productions has also submitted plans, and STV Studios is reportedly pitching to move the TARDIS to Scotland.

The BBC wants the show back on screens in 2028-29, with a contract expected in March. Not everyone is queuing up, though — Deadline says several top producers declined to bid.

Verdict: Part business story, part fan-casting fever dream. Sonic screwdrivers at the ready.

The Tea ☕

Doctor Who bids are in, with Mercurio and a Scottish pitch in the mix
Roy Kent has a Chelsea offer; Keeley is expecting
Reality TV's best night out gave us "slam pig" immortality

Your Turn

Would you rather see Jed Mercurio take the TARDIS, or watch the Doctor land in Scotland? And what's YOUR number one? Drop your own ranking in the comments.

Sources: Page Six (VRT Awards), Page Six (Christy Carlson Romano), Deadline (Doctor Who), Deadline (Ted Lasso), The Hollywood Reporter, Variety